getting started

“Hi!” You say nervously.

Mr. Publisherification looks down from his newspaper for a moment, then resumes his read.

“Um… I’m still standing here.” You begin to get irritated.

“Yes.” He replies. “Now go away.”

“But I’m important.” You blurt out. “And… and interesting, and funny and whatnot.”

The man yawns and sniffles as he rotates his desk-chair away from you.

“I can be scary and romantic too!” You desperately yell. “Is it fantasy you want?”

He spins his chair around and looks you in the eyes. “Read my lips, kid… go away. We ain’t got time to deal with you.”

Just at that moment, a twenty foot tall, god-like figure drops from the heavens. “Are you having a hard time getting your name out?” The God like being asks you. “Do you need to get something published, but nobody pays any attention to you?” He points at you. “Well look no further friend!” He says loudly before you can answer. “Before going straight to Mr. Publisherification, you need to publish smaller things! Like short stories about your type of genera. The Elder God Queens, Dr. Kathleen McConnell and Amanda Jardine have blessed me with the knowledge to bless you with the knowledge of publishing short stories.” He gives a thumbs-up. “You need to venture far, to the land of internet and find literary magazines and journals about whatever genera you’re trying to write.” He frowns. “But they’re a slippery bunch. They will hide behind walls of distractions. If you decide to go search for these elusive magazines and journals through Google, you need to look for the active ones. By that I mean, look for the ones who post things regularly and publish issues of their magazine on a regular basis.” He nods with satisfaction. “After you find one, just look at their requirements, do as they ask and follow their guidelines.”

“Whoa, thank you!” You say with a fat smile.

“I’M NOT DONE HELPING YOU!” He hells loudly with rage. “There is one more thing.” He says calmly with a smile. “Here are some examples to get you started. If you want to write romance for example, you can check out a place like Cobblestone Press.” He gives a thumbs-up. “But if your into something like fantasy and sci-fi, look into magazines like Riptide Publishing.” He stares at you for a long awkward moment. “I’m done helping… now is the time to thank me!”

“Oh, um…” You start. “Thank you!”

“No need to thank me.” He places his fists on his hips and brings his head up before ascending into the sky.

Then, you set forth to the land of internet to begin your journey.